Lessons we learned from the boys that schooled us

Graduation: Looking back, Sami and I have actually learned a lot from our various experiences with the opposite sex.



So I mean obviously Sami and I have lives, that often involve relationships with boys. And with both of us being 18 now, it seems as though we've finally come to a place where we can look back at our experiences and feel like we've grown and actually learned from them.


So here's a thought, let's pass the wealth on to you by telling you all the juicy, dirty details about every boy we've ever gotten involved with. AND we're gonna give you the highlights and disappointments about all the guys!!! Yeah you better hope you're not on this list because YOU WILL BE SHAMED!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Just kidding. We're not that cruel even though half of these guys do more or less deserve it. The way we're going to do this is to go through all of our experiences/relationships and describe them using fake names and by being vague enough so you won't be able to guess who we're talking about unless you know us really well or you're one of the guys we're talking about. (BTW if you're one of these guys and you feel like we're revealing too much, sorry deal with it. You had it coming. Karma's a b****. And I doubt anyone else will know we're talking about you anyway.) We're also going to mix up our experiences so you don't know who was with what boy or the chronology of how they occurred in our lives. This is going to be very interesting...so listen up!

Wall of Fame, Shame, Games, and Lame

Mickey: Mickey was the biggest mistake I've ever made. He was basically just a distraction I was using to get over another guy, but rebounds can be very tricky. Things moved really quickly with him, and before I knew it, he was telling people I was his girlfriend. Then he told me he loved me, and we had only been "dating" for like a couple weeks. I also had to sneak around to see him because my mom thought I had been dating too many guys recently. (If there's one thing I could pass along to anyone still in high school, it is to listen to the advice your mother gives you because mine has been right like 92% of the time.) Anyway, it didn't take long for me to learn that he was as desperate as I was. Anyone who tells you they love you after only knowing each other for a couple of weeks is desperate (unless it's love at first sight I guess). This became very apparent to me after hearing that, a couple weeks after we'd "broken up," he started dating someone that he told me was annoying.


Highlight: Knew how to express his emotions
Disappointment: Too eager and too fast


Stanley: Oh God. Stanley started out as a casual whatever... okay well we said it was that but to be honest not so much, we connected on a deeper level, but we could never make it work, when I wanted something more he wasn't ready, when he wanted something more I was "afraid of commitment." For a long time I thought that we would eventually work it out that eventually we would both want the same thing at the same time, but I think that both of us had had enough of going back and forth, but whenever I thought it was over between us he would come back to me or I to him, he was always there, and we felt comfortable with each other. We went through a lot with each other, he's the one guy that I trusted with all of me with. I did some things, that I regretted for a long time, with Stanley, but I think that he taught me more about myself than anything. He showed me that I didn't need someone to be happy and he gave me the needed self confidence boost every once in a while. For a long time I resented the fact that he used me, but on some level, I think I used him too. Oh and I learned NOT to believe a guy, that has a pretty shady history of lying, when he says that him and his girlfriend broke up, more likely than not, he's trying to play you.


Highlight: fun/funny

Disappointment: biggest jerk ever

Hal: Hal came along at a time when I really didn't know how to control my life. He was one of my best friends and when he asked me out, I said yes just because I didn't know what else to do. It wasn't absolutely terrible because at least I liked him as a friend, but here's the lesson I learned from Hal: if you're going to take yourself off the market for someone, it better be somebody you really like or else you're just wasting your time.

Highlight: very sweet
Disappointment: nervous in person


Ted: Ted, Ted, Ted. Ted was definitely one of the best looking guys I've ever dated, but there was a catch to that...a reputation. Let's just say that this time my mom wasn't the only one telling me not to go there, but I did anyway. Why, you ask? Because he said all of the right things and got me to believe every word of them. He even got me to believe that he was willing to change his ways for me...WRONG!!! So we dated for awhile and it was definitely fun. Then it started occuring to me that his lines were recycled and the games he played with me were very deliberate. We ended up breaking up once it was clear how shallow and devious he actually was. It was the first time I actually had to fight to make sure my standards were respected, but he didn't exactly respect them; he actually gave me a dirty ultimatum. Anyway, he taught me that bad boys are fun but still dangerous, and that if I let someone have full control over the relationship then I'd end up getting used and abused.

Highlight: great kisser
Disappointment: too experienced


Charlie/Bobby/Earl: The list can go on... the random flings everyone has...I don't think that anything was wrong about any of my casual hookups/no strings attached/whatever's. I just kinda wish that I hadn't of had so many... because who wants to look back and not remember the guys name that you made out with at beach last summer. (I do remember his name btw)

Highlight: good stories

Disappointment: no disappointments, I didn't know any of them long enough to be disappointed


Herb: Oh Herb. I found Herb at a time in my life when I was really determined to find a perfect guy, and cross my heart he sure seemed pretty perfect. He was good-looking, charming, had great manners, and we had a lot in common. Everything he did just seemed to be something out of a modern-day fairy tale, and we just seemed like a perfect couple. So I went for it and it was great for awhile, but it didn't take me long to realize that we just didn't have that great of chemistry. That was the first time I figured out that you can't choose who you love, and you can't force things to work if they just aren't meant to be.

Highlight: I felt like I finally did something right. He's a really nice guy.
Disappointment: bad breath, cheap

Mitch: Probably the most complicated relationship I have had. Mitch and I progressed way to quickly. We went from just being friends, to more than friends, to right into a relationship, with no stopping to breathe, looking back at it that was probably the biggest mistake we made, we moved to fast. We went straight into a relationship without completley knowing each other. Soon I felt that I could no longer trust him, and thats a hard place to be. Then in happened, the "oh my god I can not believe he did that to me" moment, and we were over. I thought that, that was the last I would see of Mitch, but to much of my friends dismays I went back to him, slowly of course, but shortly after I knew he would never change his ways, until he wanted to and I wasn't going to wait around until he changed. He showed me that while things may seem fun when they're fast and unpredictable, in the end your heart ends up getting broken, and thats not a fun place to be, slow it down, get to know them, you have time, don't rush things. AND stick to your choices, something might seem like it wasn't as big of a deal as you made it out to be but you'll go back to that person and you'll see that they really did break your heart and why would you want to put yourself in that situation again?
Highlight: most down-to-earth/amazing guy I've ever been with

Disappointment: oh I don't know... the whole cheating on me thing comes to mind.

Casper: Honestly, Casper was the first person I ever thought I loved. He was the best guy friend I had ever had and the first person with whom I really felt I could be open. We dated for awhile, but things never really went anywhere. I guess we just got bored after awhile. I really did care about him, but that experience showed me that great relationships don't just happen; you have to work at it and nurture it. That was the first time that I realized being a good girlfriend meant more than just being a pretty girl that your boyfriend was proud to show off.

Highlight: great conversationalist
Disappointment: gave up

Homer: The highlight of Homer was the butterflies he'd give me. He came at a time when I just kind of needed someone to care about me, and he did. He made me feel good, and it was actually one of the longest relationships I've been in. The reason it didn't work out was because we couldn't keep it alive. We couldn't be together enough and just stopped trying. From Homer, I learned that long-distance relationships are not easy. It's hard to be with someone and not be able to see their face all of the time or hold their hand whenever you want.

Highlight: Always smelled good
Disappointment: distance made it kind of boring


Hugo: Hugo was always that guy that seemed so far out of reach, that I could never have, I was young and naive when I get involved with Hugo, it was kinda like in My So Called Life when Angela is in love with Jordan but really doesn't know him, that was Hugo and I, we were great friends and had amazing chemistry but it was always one of those things that seemed like it would never in a thousand years happen, and then it happened, and it was unbelievable, but at the same time not so great, it was like I built up this image of how our first kiss would be in my mind, and when it actually happened it was nothing like my fantasy, I'm sure both of us were disappointed, we remained friends for a long time, but I think we both always wondered what would have happened if we tried again...
Highlight: funny
Disappointment: never really went anywhere

Stanley: (Yes this is the same Stanley as the one previously mentioned. Both of us went there.) For a long time, I regretted ever getting involved with Stanley. It's the one relationship that makes me feel the dumbest. Anyway, I chose to go out with him because at the time we were good friends, and I also had to choose between him and two other guys. I felt forced to choose one of them, but I didn't see that I had the option not to choose at all. I picked him because I felt the most comfortable around him, but that was probably the very thing that broke us up. First of all, let me confess that I shouldn't have gotten involved with him in the first place because one of my friends used to like him and, even though she said she was over it, I was still breaking a cardinal rule. Another thing was that Stanley and I differed in our values. There were certain things that I decided to let go because I wanted to be open to different opinions, but he didn't feel the same way. It was pretty apparent that he didn't feel comfortable with our differences, and there were several that added to that. From then on I made a point to take the ideals and values of any guy I wanted to date into consideration because there's just no way around it.

Highlight: funny and gentlemanly on the surface

Disappointment: shallow and cold-hearted

Ricky: defiantly the biggest mistake that I have made in the boy department and the friend department, I will admit that I was probably the worst friend ever when this happen, and I apologize greatly for that. Ricky caught me off guard, we were just friends at first, I swear! but somehow somewhere it turned into something more than that. I thought he was amazing, and I ruin a wonderful friendship because of him, he proved to me many times that he was a complete asshole but time after time I went back and I hurt a lot of people to be with him. Ricky defiantly taught me to ALWAYS put your friends before a guy and NEVER get involved with a guy if he's involved with your best friend. Don't believe guys, thats have lied to you many times, when they say that they're going to change and that your the one for them and don't put all your hope into one guy.
Highlight: good kisser/very experienced

Disappointment: broke my heart

Eli: Eli was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. He proved to me that I was important to him by trying over and over again to be with me. Even after I said no, he came back. I definitely hurt him more than I've hurt anyone else too which is kind of ironic I guess because we both loved each other more than we've ever been loved and hurt each other more than we've ever been hurt. What I learned from Eli is that you just can't plan great things. You don't have to be exactly the same to fit together. He taught me to take risks and pushed me to be spontaneous and adventurous, everything a great love should teach you. Actually what I got the most out of that experience is that sometimes caring for someone else more than you care about yourself is one of the biggest and greatest parts of life but also the scariest. You can never completely depend on someone else to complete you or make you happy because they're not always going to be able to do that for you. And sometimes getting hurt can be soooo worth it if you really allow yourself to get the most out of the relationship. Eli taught me that love is real.

Highlight: Completely honest. Fun. Aggressive but sensitive. Laid-back and lighthearted.
Disappointment: Commitment issues. Not serious enough. Lack of priorities.

We hope you've gotten something out of the experiences we've shared, if nothing but entertainment. Let us know if you've had similar experiences or if one of ours helps you with a situation we're in now. You can also ask us questions about how we managed certain relationships. Or you know, tell us which stories were the most amusing. I don't know. Talk to us!

Oh and btw, if you know who any of these guys are, please don't like share the information. We're attempting to air our dirty laundry in the classiest way possible.

P.S. Sorry for weird formatting if you were annoyed by that. Sometimes this blog has a mind of it's own, and it's beyond my control. ~Alex